Lorena (sir_hellsing) wrote in hellsingreviews,

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Discussion tiemz (omg is the community still alive?)

Just to vent of Hellsing fic cliché plot themes that contradict canon. Share 'em.

I won't even touch the "Alucard turns a new girl in a mission" or "Alucard is awoken by Integra's heiress in the future" Sue plots.

Which are your pet peeves? While I've been guilty of writing this in the past (when the Manga didn't advance to correct me) and I KNOW it can be written well, the following plots bother me for redundancy and unoriginality:

1. Seras has trouble to accept her nature. Alucard/Gary Stu helps her through. Specially in the Manga setting. Guys, guuuuuuuuys, volume 7 has been out for several... years now? Water under the bridge. Pip and Hirano already did it in a very memorable way. Can't top that.
2. Integra is being ORDERED to marry some suitor she never met and breed. *snorts* I don't think Arthur had to put up with this shit, let alone his daughter. Hellsings seem to be fertile until their 70s if judging by Abraham and Arthur. I don't know what the big deal is to have her marry and spawning at 22 years old. Obviously, she can't be old so Alucard/Seras/Walter/Gary Stu/or Mary Sue get jealous at the UNFAIRNESS.
3. Alucard broke free of Hellsing by himself!1!1!1!11ichi!! Guuuuuys, watch episode 9 to see Alucard's reaction of hearing he has no more Master. Manga wise, this is even too funny to discuss.
4. Anderson or/and other Iscariots are rapists. Now Enrico's pretty sick, but ANDERSON. Who denied to tie up Integra because they'll behave as rapists? Why he's always raping Integra/Seras/Mary Sue? He's not Incognito, Jan Valentine or the vampire of Cheddar to have Alucard as the dashing hero to rescue the lady. Ugh.
5. Seras can't stand the pressure anymore and runs away from Hellsing! Say what? Oh yes, the pressure of being the closest to be of what she wanted to be (a cop). *eye roll*
6. Alucard daydreams to turn Integra into a vampire in the MANGA. Again this before volume 8 could be excused. But after? He sort of HATES his choice and his nature and his vampirism? He begs Anderson to remain human. Canon for the Tv series, though.
7. Anything involving Major and donuts. Saussages or cocoa > donuts for the Major.
8. Integra lives in her office. In the Manga. Nevermind she's RARELY there and, when she is, is for a reason.
9. Seras gets punished a lot... Nevermind even when she screwed badly during episodes 2 and 3, she was given lecture. That's it. Manga speaking is out of question. Look at Alucard, he pulled those illusions crap with Integra in the tv series and she didn't do worse than yell at him.

None of these ideas are bad in the beginning (I have read good stories with the premises. I'm guilty some of them), but now they have become generic fanon "plot bunnies" of choice that tends to lead to OOC characterization. What happened to creativity?

What are yours?
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Agreed with all of the above.

4. I particularly HATE RAEPIST!Anderson. WTF. Look y'all, Anderson will stab a person with approximately 1799464646543232 bayonets, but he's not that kind of priest, m'kay? Rapist!Iscariot doesn't really fit to me in general, actually. It's not they're not a bunch of freaks. They totally are. But they seem the sort of freaks more likely to tie you to a chair, start peeling off your fingernails, and you shoot in the head than rape you.
I don't know: Enrico was pretty twisted in proving his "Power/superiority." I can see him being the rapist in VERY particular situations. But he's got some complex that could explain it.

The other Iscariots are a not, SPECIALLY Anderson. Wtf, dude, wtf. He treated Integra like a lady. He was gentlemanly in his crazy way.
I agree as well, especially with the Alucard fantasizing. While he probably agrees that she would make a good vampire, he probably thinks about 'The Curse' quite a bit and wouldn't subject one of the few people he respects to the endless pain of watching centuries go by.
The problem is that "Good vampire" doesn't exist. He hates vampires, sometimes I can picture him thinking when he can't stand the idea of losing someone he cares about, being in self denial with himself. BUT this is very important to keep his ambiguity and his resolve how she's a wonderful human.

Now Anime wise, is another story. His goal was: 1) Fight Super Undead Foe. 2) Vamp Integra.
I agree with all of them, except with number two. Yes, the plot it cliche', I'll give you that, but women reach menopause in their 50's while men never become sterile (if the weren't in the first place, of course).
My mother began menopause at thirty two. Admittedly she's unusual, but she's not alone. And while a man can remain fertile all his life, the older he gets, the lower the sperm count gets. So it's by no means certain.

If Alucard is indeed bound to the genetic Hellsing line like many seem to think, either Integra is going to have to find some relatives to train as heirs (In before the 'last of the Hellsing family line' saw) or else produce her own. And since the older a woman becomes the higher the possibility that her children will have birth defects, one suspects that Integra would plan to have children relatively early. She doesn't even have to raise them; that's what nannies are for.

Mind you, I can't quite see her being forced to marry by anyone. I can, however, see her sizing up a likely lad and thinking, "He's a bit of all right" and dragging him back to her cave by his hair...
Mind you, I can't quite see her being forced to marry by anyone. I can, however, see her sizing up a likely lad and thinking, "He's a bit of all right" and dragging him back to her cave by his hair...

Bingo. I can't see the Queen or the Round Table planning her life when SHE is supposed to do that. She was aware of her duty and proud of keeping it up without reminders.

Nor I can regard that the best time to marry and have children is just when you're dealing with WWIII (Manga) or after having a life-death surgery and was recently a nearly rape victim twice (Anime).
On the contrary; children are often concieved in times of great pressure and stress. It's sheer animal instinct to breed when the population is under stress. Why do you think that no matter how miserible the war zone or famine babies keep being born?

Also, if England's population has been severly depleted by the Millenium attack a woman's greatest partiotic duty will come from her uterus- and Integra is nothing if not a patriot.
See my reply to crystalwren_fic